Showing posts with label money jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money jokes. Show all posts

Friday, April 9, 2010

Money Joke: Buy A Bike To Save Money

Son: Dad, would you like to save some money?

Dad: I certainly would, son. Any suggestions?

Son: Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

5 Interesting Money Quotes To Ponder

1. The best way of saving money is to forget the person you borrowed it from.

2. Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich?
Because the poor didn't have any!

3. If you can count your money then you are not really a rich man.,

4. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

5. When i was young i thought money was the most important thing in my life, now that i am old i know that it is.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Mr Bean Saves Money On Teddy's Birthday

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Money Joke: Boy Snubs President's Kindness

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Obama.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.

It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Money Joke: Money Can Corrupt Your Morals

Money Can Corrupt Your MoralsAn Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her Father cussed her.

"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff.... Dad.... I became a prostitute.. ."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a £5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club........ ......... ....... (takes a breath)..... ........ and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug."

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Money Joke: Charity From An Investment Banker

Money Joke: Charity From An Investment Banker
One afternoon, an investment banker was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the banker said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the banker replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!

"Bring them all, as well," the banker answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the banker and said, "Sir, you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The banker replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Lesson On Supply And Demand

A Lesson On Supply And Demand
Calvin and Hobbes teach us a lesson on supply and demand. This is a good illustration of the abhorrent behavior of business owners, especially the fat cats on Wall Street.

They have various justifications for charging high prices for their goods and services and extracting hefty compensation packages. If you criticize them, you are labelled as anti-business, and other derogatory comments.

That is the way things work in the American model of capitalism works. The suckers are always the tireless taxpayers.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Welcome To Fantasy Econoland

Welcome To Fantasy Econoland
If you cannot afford a trip down to Disney Land because of this recession, there is a new attraction in town - Fantasy Econoland. Among the thrilling experiences are:

Currency high-roller: Float like a butterfly with the euro and drop like a stone with the pound!

Chamber of horrors: Tremble at the wailing of distressed debt!

Fiscal fantasyland: Watch the economy shrivel before your very eyes as you
struggle to stop growth falling!

Bankrupt Britain: Pit your wits against the government as you try to sink sterling and bring the country to its knees!

The Severe Contest: Try your strength against a bear market!

How sad that we are experiencing the horrors of this recession, promising to live a frugal and debt-free life, but in another year or so, we may just lose ourselves in Fantasy Econoland again.

By the way, if you need a tour guide, Timothy Geithner and Ben Bernanke will be showing you around the place which is guaranteed to be a memorable experience.

And don't worry about losing money. These guys will bail you out when the fun is over.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Guess Who Has The Highest Net Worth?

We love to keep up with the Joneses by purchasing the latest electronic gadgets, luxury SUVs, dressing in branded apparel and dining at high-class restaurants. But behind all these glitz are mountains of debts.

Look at the comic below and see who has the highest net worth. It is a sad reflection of our current society.

Guess Who Has The Highest Net Worth

Friday, March 6, 2009

Money Joke: What You Can Buy For A Buck

There’s plenty you can do with a dollar these days. Here are some things that cost about a buck:

A newspaper

5 piece Crispy Chicken Nuggets, at Wendy’s

A Caramel Apple Empanada, at Taco Bell

A two-liter bottle of no-name soda pop, at the grocery store

A dubious hangover remedy, at the convenience store check-out counter

An Easy To Fly Funny Kite, at the Dollar Store

Two romance novels, at the thrift store

A rerun of The Office on Comcast Cable On Demand

A one-night DVD rental, from a Redbox vending machine

An MP3 of “Low Budget,” by The Kinks, at

Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting by in America, by Barbara Ehrenreich, on (not including postage — you’ll have to take up a collection for that).

One Share of Citibank

Source: MoneyFeature Blogs

I am glad that a sorry buck can still buy so many things, what with all the inflation going on over the past thirty years.

Anyway, I am not interested in buying one share of Citibank (one of the nation's mightiest financial institutions but how it has fallen from grace), even if I happen to have some dollars to spare.

There is every possibility of the share going to zero, either from a government nationalization or the shortists bringing the bank to its knees.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Money Joke: The Misprinted Money Melee

This crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill.

He decided to try getting the $8 bill changed so he went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill, hesitated, and then gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Money Joke: When Your Kid Asks For Money...

Money Joke: When Your Kid Asks For Money...
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from.

So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his dad, "I need to borrow two hundred dollars."

At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line."

The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"

"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.

The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly."

The father says, "Oh, good. YOU send him the money!"